Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
