Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
