I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Send help, water and tortillas.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
