we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
