oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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