Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
