Tell her she can't have a vagina
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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