careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
