He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
