I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I need a burrito and a hug.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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