I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
