Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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