I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
