Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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