i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
