clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
