I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize