# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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