when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
