my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
