somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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