I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
