Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
