she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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