you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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