I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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