Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
