It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
