I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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