he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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