Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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