You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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