just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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