well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize