also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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