I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
