She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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