There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Randomize
