I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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