So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
