i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
