dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
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