This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
