Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I lost the right to judge tonight
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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