we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
