I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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