i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
