i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You don't make any sense
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