Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
