it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
