I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
