I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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