I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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