If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
They took my balls.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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