I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
