Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
